did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
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Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
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How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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