so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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