so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize