I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
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I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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