I wanna bring you to show and tell
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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