Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
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even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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