Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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