Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?

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(207): I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway? http://tfl.nu/bdir

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(760): View more from California

No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.

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(760): No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend. http://tfl.nu/k1h1

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(408): View more from California

and pubic hair rears its ugly head again

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(408): and pubic hair rears its ugly head again http://tfl.nu/ouhf

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(801): View more from Utah

You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience

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(801): You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience http://tfl.nu/r1dh

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(815): View more from Illinois

I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.

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(815): I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed. http://tfl.nu/hsgt

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(518): View more from New York

im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.

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(518): im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine. http://tfl.nu/cj5c

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.

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(410): I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve. http://tfl.nu/3z74

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(770): View more from Georgia

His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.

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(770): His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution. http://tfl.nu/sbqf

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you

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(402): Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you http://tfl.nu/279j

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(314): View more from Missouri

Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.

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(314): Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there. http://tfl.nu/fiix

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.

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(803): I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it. http://tfl.nu/1xwb

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(816): View more from Missouri

I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.

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(816): I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong. http://tfl.nu/3jnj

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.

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(717): I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild. http://tfl.nu/q7pb

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(416): View more from Toronto

im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.

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(416): im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough. http://tfl.nu/1lj7

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(707): View more from California

I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.

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(707): I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made. http://tfl.nu/x9xf

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