I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I have aggressive nipples.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize