So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize