Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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