My liver just broke up with me...
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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