I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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