I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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