he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
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I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
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My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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