And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
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Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
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I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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