I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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