i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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