And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
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Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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