You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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