I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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