theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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