Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
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she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
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In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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