Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
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