So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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