I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
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I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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