Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Houston, we have a squirter
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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