I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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