summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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