Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize