Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
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I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
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No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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