so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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