Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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