we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
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ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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