DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize