it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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