i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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