Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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