Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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