I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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