It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize