Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
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Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
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50% drunk capacity currently
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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