I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
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