I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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