Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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