yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
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So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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