I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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