Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
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I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So much rum. So many feels.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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