singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize