yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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